Your mom remembers how you take your tea, your shoe size at age seven and the name of your best friend in school. Most of us could not return the favour. Not because we do not care, but because nobody told us these details were worth writing down.

They are. Knowing the small things about your mom is what turns a generic gift into one that makes her say “how did you know?”. Below are 35 things to know about your mom, grouped so you can fill them in over time, followed by easy questions that bring them up in normal conversation.

Count how many you can answer right now without calling her. It is a quick, honest test of how well you know your mom.

Food and drink she loves

  1. How she takes her chai or coffee: sugar, milk, adrak, elaichi, or a specific brand.
  2. The dish she always orders when you eat out.
  3. The sweet she cannot resist, and the shop she thinks makes it best.
  4. The pickle or snack she keeps stocked at home.
  5. Foods she avoids, whether for health, taste or fasting.
  6. Fasting days she keeps, if any, and what she likes to eat when breaking a fast.

Her sizes and practical details

  1. Her blouse and kurta measurements, or the name of her tailor.
  2. Bangle size and ring size.
  3. Shoe and slipper size.
  4. Reading glasses power.
  5. The medicines she takes, and when they run out.
  6. Her phone model, so accessories actually fit.

Her favourites

  1. Favourite colours for sarees and suits, and colours she never wears.
  2. Fabrics she loves (cotton, silk, chiffon) and ones she finds uncomfortable.
  3. Favourite flowers, and whether she would rather have a bouquet or a plant for the balcony.
  4. Old film songs and singers she hums while cooking.
  5. The film or actor she could watch again and again.
  6. The TV show she is following right now.
  7. Her favourite fragrance or attar.
  8. The temple, park or place she feels most at peace in.

Dislikes and things to avoid

  1. Gifts she has said she does not need (“don’t waste money on this”).
  2. Allergies, or ingredients that do not agree with her.
  3. Things she finds wasteful or too flashy.

Dates that matter to her, beyond her birthday

  1. Her wedding anniversary.
  2. The festivals that matter most to her and how she likes to celebrate them.
  3. The birthdays she never forgets to call about: her sisters, her brothers, the cousins she is close to.

Things she mentions in passing

  1. The town she grew up in, and who she still visits there.
  2. Her closest school and college friends, by name.
  3. The dish she is proudest of making, the one relatives always ask for.
  4. The trip she keeps saying she wants to take.
  5. A hobby she would happily pick up again with a little push: singing, painting, stitching, gardening.
  6. Something she wants to learn: driving, swimming, a language, a new cuisine.
  7. Anything she has mentioned wanting to buy “someday”.
  8. The appliance or piece of furniture she keeps complaining about.
  9. The compliment that makes her day, whether it is about her cooking, her garden or her sarees.

Questions to ask your mom to learn these details

You do not need a questionnaire. Pick one of these over chai, on the drive to a relative’s place or on your weekly call, and let the conversation wander. Each one points back to a group on the list above.

  • Food and drink: “Which mithai shop in town is actually the best, and what do you always get there?”
  • Food and drink: “Are you keeping any fasts this month? What do you like to eat when you break it?”
  • Sizes: “Which tailor are you going to for blouses these days?” Her tailor already has her measurements.
  • Sizes: “When did you last get your eyes checked? Is your reading glasses power still right?”
  • Favourites: “Which colour have you not bought a saree or suit in for a long time?”
  • Favourites: “What are you watching these days?”
  • Dislikes: “What do people keep gifting you that you never use?”
  • Dates: “Which festival do you enjoy the most, and what makes it feel special for you?”
  • Dates: “Whose birthdays do you never miss calling on?”
  • Things she mentions: “If you could go anywhere for a week, where would you go, and who would you take?”
  • Things she mentions: “If you had a free hour every day, what would you do with it?”
  • Things she mentions: “What is one thing at home you would replace tomorrow if money didn’t matter?”

Listen for the specifics: the shop’s name, the colour, the singer, the town. Those are the details worth writing down, ideally before you hang up.

How to notice the rest without making it an interview

  • Listen on your regular calls. Moms mention things once, casually. “Your mausi got a new mixer, it grinds so smoothly” is a gift idea.
  • Write it down the same day. You will not remember it in March.
  • Watch what she re-buys. The shampoo, the tea, the brand of slippers. That is a preference.
  • Notice what she admires. A cousin’s saree, a neighbour’s balcony plants, a friend’s new phone. Note the colour or the name.
  • Compare notes with your siblings. Everyone notices different things.

Turning what you know about your mom into a gift

Once you have a few of these, the gift almost chooses itself. The fabric she loves in the colour she wears. The trip to the town she grew up in. The singer she hums, live, if they perform in your city. If you want more options, browse these birthday gift ideas for mom by budget.

The little things also matter on ordinary days: her chai made right, the medicine refilled before it runs out.

Dearly is a free Android app for exactly this. Each person has a page for little things and gift ideas, next to their birthday and anniversary. Put your mom in the Plan ahead group and her birthday reminders start up to a month ahead, with your notes waiting. No ads, no sign-up, and it works offline.

For more on staying on top of dates for everyone, read how to remember birthdays.